I want to enjoy the extraordinary, but I\’m being forced down and tied up with eyes like a dead fish. . . I wonder what my husband will do when I can\’t do anything. . . I wonder what my husband will do as I grow more and more exhausted and gloomy, hating it forever and feeling a sense of defeat. . . Even though I can\’t see anything, I can probably even feel the sound of the toys being prepared. I want to experience the feeling of having my five senses sharpened. . . I want to see me in the third person. . . And at the end, I want you to hug me gently. . .